I want to die.

Yeah, like anyone will read this right?  

Why did the Chicken Cross the Road?

The other night I had an interesting dream.  I dreamt I was a chicken(literally) trying to get across a road.  Most of my dream was spent coming up with absurd ideas to try and get myself across the road, which was covered in obstacles such as traffic, potholes(which for some reason if I touched them I exploded and then started over) and construction workers.  (whom apparently decided to impale me with those orange rubber pylons whenever I came near)  After trying several times to dart across in various ways, I decided to walk along the road to see if I could find a safer way to cross.  I came across a group of fellow chickens who were in a similar predicament as I and they allowed me to join in their planning process.  Of course they were speaking chicken so I didn't understand any of it, but I got the gist of it once they started drowning themselves in a nearby lake. (I guess the situation was truly that hopeless)  

With my chicken brethren deceased, I was once against alone to try and devise a way to cross the road.  I ended up climbing up a nearby rock and tried to glide over. Of course, chickens apparently really suck at gliding (or atleast I did) and I descended far too rapidly and fell to my death.  (Oddly enough I exploded upon contacting the ground)  Once again I was forced to start over.  After about 30 unsuccessful attempts, I began to understand why my fellow chickens had committed suicide.  It was a hopeless situation, every attempt was foiled in a ruthless and hilarious fashion.  

So I stood there, between the road and the floating bodies of the chickens trying to decide if I should just give up.  ( I mean really I'd probably just explode upon asphyxiation and start over anyway, but logic was clearly not present in this dream)  So as I'm sure you've guessed I asked the all important question.  Why do I even want to cross the road?  It's not like there was anything on the other side.  I'm sure you're wondering, how many times did I have to spontaneously explode into a firy ball of chicken feathers before realizing the parallel between this dream and the joke.  (The answer is 5)  

Well, upon this realization I decided to walk the other way away from the road and see where it led me.  After about 100 yards or so I came to the zenith of a hill.  The sun blinded me for a brief moment as it was eclipsed by the top of the hill.  After my chicken eyes adjusted to the glaring light, I took a good look at the stunning vista before me.  Mountains in the distance, a beautiful emerald coloured lake and a wooden cabin overflowing with half naked women.  Without a second though I dashed down the hill as fast as my little twig legs could carry me until I reached the bottom. 

Upon my descent I slowly began to take notice of the immediate area around me. ( Before I was fixated entirely on my paradise)  There was a familiar scent of rotting chicken corpses, I noticed the large wooden poles erected in the ground in a line.  The familiarfeeling of asphalt upon my talons...(?)  Then as I soon realized my tantalizing fate a bright light emerged from my limited peripheral vision.  It got brighter and brighter until it blinded me and all I could hear was the screeching sound of the brakes as the truck ran me down. 

Incredibly Accurate Personality Test

I know pretty much everyone has taken this test atleast once, but I took it again recently to find that nearly everything in the description of my "type" accurately describes me.  I scored an INFJ with Introverted 100% (obvious to anyone who actually knows me) Intuitive 85% Feeling 38% and Judgement 1%.  Here's a summary of the descriptions for my "type"

"creative, smart, focus on fantasy more than reality, attracted to sad things, fears doing the wrong thing, observer, avoidant, fears drawing attention to self, anxious, cautious, somewhat easily frightened, easily offended, private, easily hurt, socially uncomfortable, emotionally moody, does not like to be looked at, fearful, perfectionist, can sabotage self, can be wounded at the core, values solitude, guarded, does not like crowds, organized, second guesses self, more likely to support marijuana legalization, focuses on peoples hidden motives, prone to crying, not competitive, prone to feelings of loneliness, not spontaneous, prone to sadness, longs for a stabilizing relationship, fears rejection in relationships, frequently worried, can feel victimized, prone to intimidation, lower energy, strict with self"

Feel free to take the test and post your own type.  

Inevitable Realization

So, this is the place where I'm going to rant and post relatively interesting things.  Not much else to say now is there?  Feel free to comment I guess.